Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Arok berkaca Dedes


Ken Dedes istri sang Akuwu Tunggul Ametung turun dari kereta di pinggir jalan terpesona oleh bunga-bunga rumputan padang ilalang dalam siraman sinar mentari senja. Ken Arok, anak muda berhati batu, si hantu padang Karautan muncul tiba-tiba dari kerumunan perdu dan berdiri berhadap-hadapan dengannya.

“Matamu liar.” kata Dedes.

“Tak liarkah tatapanmu?”jawab Arok. Dia berdiri terpaku seolah melihat dirinya di dalam kaca dalam bentuk wanita.

”Bahasamu binal.” Kata Arok.

”Tak binalkah tutur katamu?” Jawab Dedes. Diapun hanya terpana seperti melihat dirinya dalam bentuk pemuda.

”Kau mengutuk cinta lelaki bahkan cinta ayahmu sendiri.” Kata Arok.

”Tidakkah kau mengutuk cinta ibumu sendiri, yang menghanyutkanmu di kali Brantas.” Kata Dedes dengan memalingkan mukanya sedikit, … memandangi bunga-bunga rumputan yang mulai bermekaran. Arok memandangi kibasan rambut Dedes yang ungu merah tua dalam kilauan sinar matahari senja.

”Kau cantik penuh warna, pasti kau lahir di musim pelangi pada bulan-bulan gerimis mulai menyiram bumi.” Terpana Arok seolah mengagumi dirinya sendiri.

”Kau sesegar padang rumputan, kaupun pasti lahir di akhir kemarau panjang.” Dedes menghirup bau segar rumputan dari tubuhnya.

Rembulan mulai jatuh cinta pada malam. Matahari pergi dengan mengutuk malam sedangkan rembulan datang mencumbu malam sambil mengutuk siang hari. Siang mengutuk malam, dan malam mengutuk hari, sehingga tak pernah ada cinta tanpa kutukan walau saat fajar dan senja, mereka selalu bertemu dan menyapa.

”Aku milik sang Akuwu, kau tak akan bisa mendapatkan cintaku.” Kata Dedes seolah mohon pembebasan.

“Kau tak pernah mencinta si Akuwu karena dia merampasmu dari cinta ayahmu sang empu Parwa. Akulah yang akan melunasi kutukan ayahmu terhadap perampas cinta itu.” Ken Dedes hanya diam, menatap Arok seolah memandangi kecantikan dirinya.

“Aku terlahir dari buah cinta sang empu Parwa ayahku dengan ibuku. Engkau ternyata terlahir dari kutukan ayahku.”

”Akan ku bebaskan cintamu dari Tunggul Ametung si Akuwu.” Sebuah janji Arok pada Dedes yang seakan janji pada dirinya sendiri.

“Namun darah cintamu telah dikutuk Sang empu Gandring.” Bisik Dedes.

”Akan ku alirkan darah cinta terkutukku padamu.“ Jawab Arok dalam dengus nafasnya.

“Cinta kita telah dikutuk dewata, akan pedih perih ujungnya.“ Bisik mereka hampir bersamaan.

Lalu ada jeda diam yang panjang, seakan sepanjang petang. Belalang kayu mulai berderik di daunan, jengkerik mulai mengkerik di bongkah-bongkah batu. Angin diam, takut berbisik pada daunan kering, tak mau mengganggu aliran cinta dalam diam tatapan mata.

“Kau akan membunuh suamiku.“ Seperti dia berbisik pada dirinya sendiri.

“Dan janin dalam rahimmu akan membunuhku, aku tahu.“ seperti dia memberi janji untuk kebebasan jiwanya sendiri nanti jika saatnya tiba.

“Akankah kau tetap mencintaiku?“

“Padamu ku serahkan hidupku, kuserahkan matiku. Dari darah terkutukku dan dari rahim sucimu akan lahir raja-raja bagi tanah Jawa.“

Sebuah tangan kokoh perkasa menyembul dari balik tirai kereta, menarik tangan Dedes yang lembut gemulai, memaksanya kembali masuk ke kereta. Malam menelan bunga-bunga rumputan, hanya gerumbul-gerumbul hitam yang tersisa …

(cuilan catatan percakapan di depan kaca)

Saturday, February 20, 2010

My Sauna Memory of U

Romantic waves beat deep in my chest
Of playful thoughts with you at best
A long drive in the rain I agree
Dreaming of
  • (A carriage ride through the streets to the sound of hoof beat)
A dimly lit room, heated as sauna...hmmm
Low lights, soft music with you
Dreaming of
  • (Slow dancing, sweet caressing the story of the day)
A lot of kissing and holding in your own special way
Pleasing you, my love the priority for above

A quick shower, than bed with thoughts of you in my head
With you in my arms, your head on my chest
To sleep we shall go for a good nights rest

and(N)IF..andIF...

The first time I glanced at you
I could not help myself,
How distinct your eyes and mind could be.
And how deep it can actually feel,
So, allow me to see if this is real.

From the simple hug to
The passionate kiss,
For when you're not around
You'll be the one
I truly miss.

NIF..NIF..AND...


NIF..NIF... and...

Wish I didn't have to miss you. If only you could be with me always. I know I could never

be any happier.

But then again, I know that the day will come when I will be able to spend

my every waking moment with you. I even miss you when I am sleeping!

I thank you for be so kind, soon I won't have to hate missing you.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

100th Round Table Discussion



It was really nice to be in the same table with old friends (3G=3 Generation).

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Out-There

Owls -- they whinny down the night;
Bats go zigzag by.
Ambushed in shadow beyond sight
The outlaws lie.

Old gods, tamed to silence, there
In the wet woods they lurk,
Greedy of human stuff to snare
In nets of murk.

Look up, else your eye will drown
In a moving sea of black;
Between the tree-tops, upside down,
Goes the sky-track.

Look up, else your feet will stray
Towards that dim ambuscade
Where spider-like they trap their prey
In webs of shade.

For though creeds whirl away in dust,
Faith dies and men forget,
These aged gods of power and lust
Cling to life yet--

Old gods almost dead, malign,
Starving for unpaid dues;
Incense and fire, salt, blood and wine
And a drumming muse,

Banished to woods and a sickly moon,
Shrunk to mere bogey things,
Who spoke with thunder once at noon
To prostrate kings

With thunder grom an open sky
To warrior, virgin, priest
Bowing in fear with a dazzled eye
Toward the dread East--

Proud gods, humbled, sunk so low,
Living with ghosts and ghouls,
And ghosts of ghosts and last year's snow
And dead toadstools.

heaven and wine

Surely, if heaven didn't love wine,
there would be no Wine Star in heaven,

and if earth didn't love wine, surely
there would be no Wine Spring on earth.

Heaven and earth have always loved wine,
so how could loving wine shame heaven?

I hear clear wine called enlightenment,
and they say murky wine is like wisdom:

once you drink enlightenment and wisdom,
why go searching for gods and immortals?

Three cups and I've plumbed the great Way,
a jarful and I've merged with occurrence

appearing of itself. Wine's view is lived:
you can't preach doctrine to the sober.

Who can bear spring's lonely sorrows, who
face it without wine? It's the only way.

Success or failure, life long or short:
our fate's given by Change-maker at birth.

But a single cup evens out life and death,
our ten thousand concerns unfathomed,

and once I'm drunk, all heaven and earth
vanish, leaving me suddenly alone in bed,

forgetting that person I am even exists.
Of all our joys, this must be the deepest.

When time runs

When time runs,
tears drops.....

I just realized how stupid I was
The moon shines as it was
I was dreaming to be as I wanted to be
Wild, stepping on each dreams and woke up ..
Ups.. another one

I just realized how to step aside
The stars were bright as they are
Silent and silent just waiting for the day
I know I have to manage it

Can I?

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Do not know

My day was really bad
feel just worn out
get really tired teaching.. kind of bore I suppose
The cruel world of biz just so amazing
I suppose I am not the right person
Well do not know what to say...kind of loosing myself
my own self
have to take pills of courage to step on...